What's in a Profile - Thoughts of a Bonafide Bachelor

Now, if there’s one thing I know something about, it’s stewing over an online dating profile. I was online dating for YEARS before I found my person and I reckon I spent a gazillion hours wondering if my profile was ‘swipe right’ ready.

It might seem so obvious to you, but I never thought to consult a bloke on what they thought of my profile or to ask for some tips. Every guy is different and every guy has different motivations for being online, but when all that’s said and done, if I had of asked, I reckon I would have got a helpful insight either way.

So, to save you all the hassle of commandeering your nearest guy pal and asking him to whole heartedly appraise your profile, I went ahead and asked one for you.

I’ll preface this by saying, that this guy, who will remain anonymous by name, is the real deal. Honest, respectful and an all-round legend, so rest assured his advice comes from a big ol’ warm heart and a place of love finding. I’ll also say that I whole heartedly condone the ‘you do you’ mantra and one should be oneself always, but it never hurts to hear an opinion, right? So here goes…

When you’re perusing dating sites, what makes you stop and take a closer look?

I think the first photo should be of the individual only. It should never be a group photo. Two people is OK but then the following photos should make it clear as to which person the profile belongs to. Group photos are ok later but it needs to be obvious who the profile belongs to. Nothing worse than blurry or distant photos leaving you not knowing who the profile belongs to. If it's not clear I'd always swipe 'no'. Also, not too many photos with sunglasses on, being able to see someone’s eyes is important and for that reason the only photos where eyes are visible should not be in grey scale!

ME NOTE: As a person who bloody hearts a sunglasses photo, I think this is a good tip, while I might be loving myself sick over some new shades, peeps like to see the window to your soul 😊

Are profiles important to you? If so, what do you like to see in profiles and equally what don’t you want to see in profiles?

Yes, profiles are important. As much information as possible, obviously not the nitty gritty but interests, intentions, likes/dislikes and a place for their personality to show (as much as it can in a brief blurb) is really important.

ME NOTE: I was deeelighted to hear this too, I totally skipped over those that could not be bothered writing a simple 180 characters about themselves, if you’re too lazy to do that shiz, then we’ve got bigger issues!

Are you intimidated by the ladies initiating chatting? If not, what kinds of things make you want to respond?

No, not at all. A witty or cheeky comment is always a good start to a conversation. This can come from something within a profile or a comment on a photo. Having some banter is fun and allows a conversation to flow. Otherwise a 'what would you rather' or scenario based question is a good start as it allows a conversation to ensue. Starting with simply "hey", "how are you?" or "how was your day?" is dull.

What’s your rule when it comes to communication? How long is too long to be chatting?

No rule. It really depends on the person and circumstances. Depending on how things are going with the conversation and what has been spoken about, I would generally ask someone to meet up over a drink within the first two weeks. If they say that they are not ready that is completely okay and would not mean the end of the conversation. Things do tend to fizzle out if it does take a long time to go from chatting to meeting. There is probably a good reason that you haven't met by that point though.

ME NOTE: I was bloody brutal when it came to the communication, so this was interesting to hear, 2 weeks for me would be way too long, but hey, dude raises a point, sometimes a good bit of chat for a couple of weeks might mean for a better first date.

When you initiate chatting online, do you have a signature move?

Yes, and I'm not giving it to you just yet (LOL). Unfortunately, I may still need to use it at the moment and its original material (haha)!

ME NOTE: Cheeky rascal 😉

With Tinder and Bumble and all the other online forums we have these days, do you find it harder to meet people IRL? Do you find it tough to meet people out?

I wouldn't say it's made meeting people out harder but it is definitely easier to meet people online. Without knowing exact statistics, when you're out there it’s a fifty-fifty chance that someone is single whereas on a dating site you would hope everyone is single. Personally, I am not confident in approaching someone out unless there is clear eye contact and I know that they are interested in me. Online makes it much easier and you can read through people’s profiles and get to know a little bit about someone before you even have a conversation (obviously, this has its pros and cons) as we make a judgement on them before we even hear what they have to say.

There you have it, a genuine guy take on online dating profiles. I hope it helps!