Dating Tips for The Time Poor

The number one excuse I get from lots of people about why they are not dating is that they don't have the time. I totally get it. Between work and family and seeing your friends and having your downtime and binge watching Netflix, it can be tricky to squeeze in the time for love seeking, amiright?

The truth is, there is ALWAYS time in your day and life to spare an hour for someone who might well be your Mr Right. When I first dedicated myself to online dating and trying to squeeze in meeting people as best as I could, I discovered for myself some good tips that helped me navigate the dating world, while juggling a busy job, active social life and obsession for a good TV series. They're not rocket science, but they are practical and I reckon anyone would be able to incorporate them into their hectic schedules, so here goes.

First dates don't need to be drinks

The default for most of us when it comes to a first date is a drink. A bit of booze helps you unwind, maybe makes the convo flow better, it's just a natural go to. The problem is they are bloody hard to set up!

For starters, we are all functioning adults and thus beverages are reserved for night times. If you have a job where you can have day wines, DM me immediately and tell me all about it, but for the majority of us, we have to leave the booze for the PM. This is super problematic and I'll tell you why and I reckon you'll be able to see a pattern in your own life.

Your days are supremely limited for a drink with someone – Fridays and Saturdays are reserved for a well-earned catch up with our loved ones, you'll need a couple of nights for gym or down time, maybe a couple more for work when it's hectic or you have various work function commitments, throw in a family dinner, an unexpected friend in town, a birthday, you get my point, it's hard to find time. I found this challenging, not to mention exhausting. So I started to think of ways I could mix this up and the first was getting my head out of the zone that I needed a drink for a date to work.

Let's face it, we are at work for at least 7.5 hours a day and we are entitled to a break in that time, right? Why not use that time for a date? For the most part, an online match, or even a person you met IRL is likely to be near-ish to you in a work sense. Instead of teeing up the after work drink, suggest a coffee.

For me this worked a charm. For starters, you are generally looking pretty shmick for work, you have to wear adult clothing and footwear so you will be looking the part. Secondly, you are all smart cookies and have your jobs for a reason, so swanning from work where you are being confident and clever, only makes for you transferring said confidence and cleverness to your date. It's enough time to chat and get to know each other a bit better and it's an hour at the most out of your day. I reckon the majority of my coffee dates resulted in a text to line up date two, where you are more flexible with your timing because you've got a good vibe, or at the very least you've caffeinated yourself for the day and can spring back into your busy life.

I know that this won't work for everyone, but if it would, I do urge you to give it a go! For those where this wouldn't work, please do try a quick coffee date even on a weekend as opposed to a drink, maybe after the gym or before you meet friends, I can assure you it's a better more efficient use of your time than that allusive glass of vino.

Online dating is SO time consuming

I hear this so much and it pains me. Like most good things in life, love finding takes time and dedication and commitment. The online world can be so intimidating, particularly paid sites where there are questionnaires and lengthy profile applications to fill out, even the non-paid sites are daunting, what pictures to use, hours crafting a witty blurb about yourself. Far out brussel sprout! It doesn't need to be this hard though, here are some tips I developed to make the process more efficient / fun.

Firstly re setting up your profile. Many hands make light work, particularly for a paid site where you have to write an awful lot about yourself, enlist a mate, buy bottles of wine and lumps of French cheese and make yourselves an afternoon or night of it.

No one knows you better than your closest friends, who will be able to eloquently and accurately describe you to potential suitors, they will also be able to fill you in on traits you never thought you had, cause guess what, very few people can see their own greatness. It's a win / win, you get quality time with friends AND a profile you would most definitely not have been able to write based on your own impressions of yourself.

Secondly, making the time to dedicate to the sites. I read an article once a few years back where they had looked in to best times for success in matching for online dating, it was genius and I thanked them for their knowledge of algorithms and resources to do this sleuthing.

They said the best times for matching with people were Sunday between 6 and 8pm and Tuesday the same time. After reading this, I limited myself to only using sites like Tinder, to those times and guess what, it's totally true and it makes perfect sense when you think about it. That time on a Sunday, prime Sunday saddies time, the best time to keep yourself preoccupied with swiping right. Tuesdays, you've lived through Monday and are ready to start planning the week, which you might like to include a date. IT IS GENIUS! Give it a go and I guarantee you will experience more matching and more messaging, which as we all know is key.

Secondly for the paid sites, keep communication to a minimum. Excessive communication can be the biggest time waster of all. Hours and hours of back and forth answering all life's questions is going to leave you very little to chat about on your date! Get the basics down – interests , location, likes and dislikes, career whatever your basics might be and move on to lining up a real life encounter.

I found that most of the people who insisted on hours of chatting would often run cold or I would just get frustrated with trying to meet in person and give up. Waste your precious time on only the good communication and use your time wisely vis a vie communication times and making that fit into your life, not vice versa. On an iPad while eating your lunch or even on the bus or while your dinner cooks at night, you needn't spend hours messaging when you might well get the same result by simply asking up front and saving yourself some time and pain.

So there you have it, I said it wasn't rocket science, but I do hope you took something away from it!